Done
by inthecompanyoflove
Summary: Set after "Special Education". When a hysterical Rachel comes to Emma for relationship advice, it shakes the guidance counselor to her very core.


Rachel was crying.

It wasn't the first time the girl had come to tears in Emma's office. Behind the glass walls Rachel found a certain solace, a comfort shielded by the abstraction of privacy more than the reality of her classmates walking by, her peers peeking in, watching their friends crumble. Emma pushed a box of tissues towards her, as always, and waited for her to speak.

"I just... I love him so much, Miss Pillsbury, so much. And I was _so _furious with him! Him and Santana... I mean, how could he? Why? It was only fair..." She dissolved into sobs again, smushing her face into her hands, her shiny brown hair cascading over her bent shoulders like a waterfall.

"What's the current status of things, Rachel?" _Keep calm, keep focused, stay objective..._

"They're together. I mean, why not, right? She's the pretty, skinny cheerleader and I'm just me. She has so much more to offer him - popularity... sex!" The teenager choked up then, her mascara a black smudge on her cheeks, and shook her head. "Why did he have to decide everything so quickly? We broke up in minutes Miss Pillsbury. _Minutes_! How can everything change in minutes?"

Emma dropped eye contact with her student._ You're falling apart, Emma, you're not doing your job. Rachel needs you right now. _She willed herself not to think of the way her own life changed in mere minutes - there was no time for self-hate right now. She glanced upwards, willing her large eyes to stay dry, but seeing Rachel's raw emotion moved her more than any other student's had. She released a long, deep breath.

"Rachel, it's not healthy to compare yourself to Santana, or anyone else. You're you, and you shouldn't change for anyone."

"It's not about_ me _changing Miss Pillsbury! It's about him changing. I wanted us to come back here - couples counseling, like we did before - but no. We can't go to couples counseling unless we're a couple, right? Well there goes that, Finn, thanks, just break up with me in front of the entire school. Just stomp on me... I made one mistake, just _one_, and he stops loving me." Rachel wiped her face, angrily, the blackness streaking across her nose and onto her hands. "How do you just stop loving someone, Miss Pillsbury? Please, tell me how it happens."

Emma was trembling. She placed her hands on her lap and stared at Rachel. _Keep it together_, she told herself. _This was no time to fall apart_. "Sometimes people make decisions they think are best in the moment, but with time, their perspective changes and they re-evaluate. They realize they made a mistake. Look at yourself, Rachel - you want Finn to forgive you for your mistake, don't you? It happens to everyone... No one is perfect."

Rachel blew her nose, loudly, and Emma willed herself not to cringe. "It's different, though.. He started it. He pushed me away by sleeping with Santana. It's not even that he did it, you know, it's that he _lied _to me about it. And everyone knew, Miss Pillsbury, _everyone_. How humiliating is _that_? And no one told me. So when I try to get back at him, when I try to show him how badly it hurts, what does he do? He decides in a moment - in a _moment_ - it's done. It's done."

"I think it's important for you to take time for yourself, Rachel. I know you were very invested in your feelings for Finn and right now I think it's important to see yourself as an individual and concentrate on making yourself hap-"

"I'm _always_ alone Miss Pillsbury! You know that as well as everybody else! I don't have friends. The kids in Glee tolerate me at best. Finn was my friend. My _best_ friend. What am I supposed to do without my best fiend?" She crumpled her tissues and tossed them into Emma's empty trash can. For once she appeared to be at a loss for words and stared at her hands in her lap, silent.

Emma concentrated on her breathing. She'd always been good at detaching herself from her student's problems - her own anxiety, her extensive fear of germs allowed her to create barriers and barricades against their dirty handshakes and almost hugs - but this was too much for her. Her stomach ached. Since marrying Carl, she'd been unable to look at Will. There was too much guilt, too much shame, for her to meet his eye. They talked once and she saw his heart break in his eyes and that was it. Rachel's words repeated like a mantra in her mind: _it's done, it's done, it's done._

"With time, Rachel, things change. You never know what the future holds, but you need to love and value yourself before you can let someone else do that for you." She paused as Rachel met her eye, the tear stains and makeup dried across her normally clear skin. She'd stopped crying, which Emma took as a good enough sign to offer, "Maybe you and Finn will become friends again once things settle down?"

"No!" At that, Rachel stood up, pushing her chair backwards with a loud squeal against the clean linomieum floor. Emma jumped a little in her seat. She opened her mouth to speak, to calm and quiet her student, but Rachel beat her to it. "We can never be friends again! It's done Miss Pillsbury! It's just _done_! He said he loved me. Real love doesn't change it's mind like that. Real love forgives and values and works hard at things. It doesn't take the easy route. I'm not an easy person to love and he... he had his chance. It's done." Rachel was crying again, near hysteria, and Emma slowly stood and gestured for her to sit again. Rachel remained standing.

Emma concentrated again on her breathing. She wasn't used to aggressiveness from her students but she reminded herself it wasn't about her - after all, she was projecting too much into what Rachel was saying - this was about her, Finn, and Santana, not herself, Will, and Carl. "Rachel, please, sit back down with me and talk; you always have me to confide in, I promise you that."

"No!" This 'no' was louder, angrier and Emma's whole body tensed. "No, I don't Miss Pillsbury. You just don't understand." She looked at Emma's new nameplate, the Pillsbury - Howell shining bightly under the room's flourescent light, and shook her head. "You don't understand at all - I thought you did, we _all_ thought you did - but you don't. I heard what Mr. Schuester said - he loved you, Miss Pillsbury, he _loved_ you. And you... and you took the easy way out." Emma gasped and Rachel stomped her foot, hard, her tiny hands balled into fists at her sides. "So I hope you and Finn, I hope you're both happy." The tears were spilling again and Rachel turned to sharply to the door. "_I hope you're both really happy_!" And she was gone.

Emma stood behind her desk, shaking in her favorite yellow heels, and cried.

AN: I've gotten a lot of new favorites/alerts and reviewers lately, which thrills me and I'm so thankful for those who take the time to read my work. However, after the recent turn in my favorite couple (Will/Emma) I'm not sure if I'm going to continue watching Glee. I'm truly letdown by Emma's character development and I'm afraid there are too many obstacles for them to work out in any way that's remotely realistic. I'm not sure if I'll keep writing fic or not, but if you have any suggestions for stories, please let me know, and I'll certainly consider them; my brain is shot right now. Thank you.


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